Snow Day Post: Blaming Mothers
In the article, Blaming Mothers: A Disability Perspective, Ruth Colker discusses the adversity mothers of children with disabilities face when advocating for their child’s education and how they are often blamed for their child’s disability. Colker talks about the 4 “blame the mother” strategies school districts use when trying to silence and dismiss concerned mothers. She also tells stories that echo the theme of these strategies:
- Blame mother for incompetence:
- A mother gets into a 4 year long court battle with her son’s school district to get her deaf son into a school for deaf children that could better service his unique needs.
- Blame mother’s assertive behavior for educational problems
- A mother in Pennsylvania was barred from speaking to anyone on her child’s IEP team except the special education director, who wrote emails with negative and unprofessional comments about the mother.
- Blame mother’s passive behavior for educational problems at school
- A mother filed a complaint against after her son attempted to commit suicide because of his educational problems- but without legal help she lost her case.
- Blame mother for working outside the home.
- A young girl with emotional issues began running away from home and get involved in prostitution. Her mother requested that she be placed in a different school setting that could help her, but the school district refused. Their reason was that when the mother took a leave from work, the child showed improvement- they stated that the child’s home life was the issue.
Colker goes on to explain how important it is for mothers of children with disabilities need to be treated with dignity and respect. I completely agree with Colker. I see parents are my allies in my student’s education and I try my best to meet the needs of all families in my classroom by being flexible with meetings, providing parents a chance to give feedback and share their opinions with me about their child. I appreciate any parent who advocates for their child’s success. It saddens me that this isn’t the reality across our nation.
Hope everyone enjoyed the snow day
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Kelly, I agree with your sentiments fully. Parents shouldn't be looked down upon for advocating for their child. They are doing what they deem necessary and what they think will aid their child. It is sad that others especially other educators do not see this. Your reading relates in a way to mine. Mine was, In the Shadow of Brown: Special Education and Overrepresentation of Students of Color. The article discussed the aftermath of Desegregation in schools and how there in turn was an over representation of students of color in special education programs. Basically many schools since they could no longer have desegregated buildings, tried with desegregating classrooms by labeling many young black students as having mental retardation (MR). Teachers were surveyed after to see their views on how it was going and how the students were doing. Many stated that it appeared that students who were black struggled and just "weren't as smart as students who were white." One also said that the black students had a harder home life. First of all, I do not know how she would know this unless the student confided in her (which is doubtful due to the time period) and secondly teachers should not be judging parents but instead working with them in order to help the child succeed. If teachers back then had invited families in to work with them and allow them to see how their child was doing in school it could have aided so many tremendously. There was too big a disconnect between the school and home life. In order for children to be successful educators need to work with the families as a team. I say that to my students and their families all the time. We are a team, we both have the same goal in mind, to help the child. I understand when some of my parents advocate so much that I at times want to say "omg you are relentless!" I know that they are coming from a place of concern and love. Mothers are negatively viewed most often when advocating for their child as your article states and that is something that is concerning and needs to change immediately.
ReplyDeleteHi Kelly! I feel as though the folks judging mothers in this article should meet Sunaura Taylor. Maybe they should watch the video we saw about her walk with Judith. I found it powerful, maybe folks could connect in some way, or at least be sure not to spew ridiculousness. What I wonder in regards to my article in relation to yours, could the physical environment be blamed for what they say is moms fault? How are these folks accepted in the community?
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